How to train your dragon. Or dinosaur. Whatever.
It’s surprising because I hated the trailer. Every time it came on, I always thought, there goes that dumb movie again. I had no plans of watching it. But because the only other movie we hadn’t seen was Remember Me, we went for the dragons. Yes, give me any old dragon over Robert Pattinson and his messy hair any day.
These are the things I learned while watching the movie:
1. Dragons are cooler than brooding vampires. They can fly. They spew fire. And they don’t hook up with minors.
2. Plain M&Ms are good. No need to spit out peanuts.
3. Some dads are real assholes.
4. Mrs. Fields Chocolate Chip Muffin? Good.
5. I having nothing but love for America Ferrera. And not just because I feel like Ugly Betty sometimes.
6. It’s hilarious when you’re watching a movie and you realize that one of your friends who is watching with you looks a lot like someone in the movie. Jolo, you really do look like Hiccup. And yes, I don’t think you are capable of killing dragons either. You are much too kind.
7. Sometimes, you just have to hold your pee.
8. When eating popcorn, you must know when to stop.
9. My nose wasn’t built for holding up 3D glasses.
10. You don’t have to do what everyone else is doing.
11. Sometimes you have to chew on dead rotting fish to get someone to like you.
12. If you offer someone your hoodie and they say no thank you, it doesn’t always mean they’re not freezing. Sometimes it just means your hoodie smells bad.