Pajammy Party

Pillow fights, secrets, s'mores and scary stories. Sleeping bag not required.

Confessions of a has-been blogger

I used to be good at this.

So good that I swear, my thoughts used to flow in blog format.

So good that I already knew how I would write about things even as they were unfolding.

So good that if I want to know exactly what I was doing and what I was thinking on this day in 2003 or 2004 or 2005, all I need to do is go click-click-click. (And apparently, on this day in 2003, I was waiting to find out if I was finally going to graduate from college; in 2004, I shopped, cried while watching Oprah and then went to the office and in 2005, I finally signed up for a Gmail account which I continue to use today.)

So good that if I was feeling bad, all I had to do was blog and like magic, I’d feel better.

So good that when I look at my old blog, I always go, “How the hell did I do that?”

So good that a girl actually tried to steal my posts and experiences to pass them off as her own.

So good that I was able to convince myself that all my little thoughts mattered. And that people cared.

And people did care. It took me years before I turned on my blog’s comment function but it didn’t matter. People reached out. I got e-mails, I got sweet little packages, people stopped me in malls and parties, asking if I was that girl who blogs.

Once, I was about to interview a powerful executive but he said, wait a minute, I need to text my daughter. My daughter reads your blog. And it kind of freaked me out then but now I realize, hey, that was so fucking awesome.

Back then, I took all those things for granted. But not anymore.

My second attempt at blogging has been much harder than the first. Probably because I’m overthinking this.

I spend too much time thinking and not enough time blogging.

I used to just write and write and write and I used to have so much fun.

I want that.

So here is where the thinking stops. Now, the writing begins.

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6 thoughts on “Confessions of a has-been blogger

  1. Goooo, Pammy! 😀 (read: please keep writing and writing and writing)

  2. Wow, it seems like you read my mind. Those thoughts have been circling my head for a time now. Blogging seemed so much simpler when I wrote posts just for the fun of it. When I didn’t have to think about SEO, blog stats or paid links. My solution was to make another ad free blog which I ended up neglecting because I can’t seem to write the same way as before. The overthinking bug does bite deep.

    I think you still write as well as you did before. Raw and real. I actually reread your old blog and your new posts here when I need inspiration on how to let the words flow. Just keep writing Pam, I’ll keep reading. 🙂

    • pajammy on said:

      thanks so much for the kind words..

      i still refuse to think of blog stats and ads. i just really want to find my voice again.

  3. have i been reading you for that long??? i remember when someone stole your posts. i remember when you were still in college and you had really great friends. i even remember when your teacher told you that you plagiarized yourself when you submitted something that you had written online (or was it for the paper??)

    but you know what? you haven’t lost it. you’re still as crazy interesting as ever.

    • pajammy on said:

      haha! can’t believe i’ve been blogging for that long too!!

      oh god yes that idiot teacher.

      thank you, i am still finding my voice, it’s just around here somewhere. haha. 🙂

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