Vodka and crotches
Lessons from last night:
Three glasses of vodka-spiked soda will lead to a night of crotch-groping.
People don’t like it when you cut their hair without asking their permission.
Some guys are just too nice.
Some girls deserve to be slapped.
You must learn to remember people’s names and faces if you want to avoid awkwardness.
Mayo in your hair = not good.
You need to be sober to taste the difference between potatoes and sweet potatoes.
Clown Boy can chug down two bottles of wine and still get home safely.
Rubber ducky band-aids always come in handy.